Just Breathe


Alarm clock screaming bare feet hit the floor
It’s off to the races everybody out the door
I’m feeling like I’m falling behind, it’s a crazy life
Ninety miles an hour going fast as I can
Trying to push a little harder trying to get the upper hand
So much to do in so little time, it’s a crazy life
It’s ready, set, go it’s another wild day
When the stress is on the rise in my heart I feel you say just

Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need
Is to just breathe

This song….it’s me…it’s exactly how I feel lately. Too many things to do. Not enough time. Stress. Chaos. I’m feeling like I’m falling behind, it’s a crazy life.

And I’ve really noticed this lately, because… I haven’t been blogging a lot. But as soon as I start blogging again… I FEEL OVERWHELMED. Right back into CHAOS I go. And then I notice bull CRAP happening in the blogosphere. People…friends…compromising their integrity…at least in MY EYES…just to get free makeup.

WHY OH WHY?!!!

It’s partly due to my personality type I think? I don’t do anything half-assed. I pretty much pour my heart and soul and my all into everything I try in this life. It’s my mama’s voice I hear in my head, telling me I can do better. And I never did want to disappoint her. Or you guys?

Just BREATHE. I want to keep on going…blogging…I really do? But I can’t seem to keep up anymore. Plus when others I call friends don’t care about what they do or say? Is all this worth it? Does anybody ELSE notice the wrongs that happen? Or is it just me?

Does all this matter? Should I care about other people? Their integrity? I feel like blogging is losing it’s credibility lately. Do you feel that way as well?

Does it matter that I don’t post every day? Every other day? Once a week?That I only post when I can? When I am inspired? Does it matter to those of you that actually read my blog? Tell me. Please.

This year has been quite the spiritual soul search for me. I’m alone a LOT. And, I don’t mind being by myself because I have a lot of feels. And thoughts. About the big L-life, in case you didn’t get that. I’m an introvert EXTRAORDINAIRE, so I love my alone time. And when I’m alone I get to think about life a lot. All that alone time has made me realize that I need to stop and BREATHE more often. That it’s good for me. And it’s also made me realize that I want to talk and write about OTHER STUFF, not just makeup and skincare.

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About the other stuff I care about! Hiking, mountains, FOOD…I care a LOT about food HAHAHA. Hey, I’m a chubby girl…what’d ya’ expect?  😀

So….I’m gonna take a break for a bit here… revamp the site a bit…make it simpler…make it look more ME. Make it more about the stuff I LIKE. I’m not a complicated person at all…I’m pretty much a “you get what you see” kinda’ person. But I think you already know that, right?

I’ll be back…soon. Stronger. Better. BRAVER. And ready to challenge every fucker out there. Every fucker that lies about stuff. Every fucker that sells their soul for free makeup. EVERY. FUCKER. All of them. Because, I don’t give a rat’s ass what they think…or anybody else who lies. I’m gonna fight for blogging! To keep it REAL, and not sell out. I’m not trying to make a living off my blog. I make enough to pay the blog bills…that’s it. If you can make a living and keep it real still, I bow to you.

And I’m kind of excited to start talking about LIFE…and other stuff…and still makeups…because LORDY nothing makes my day like an awesome new blush! #stillaBlushfiend

 I’m finally ready. To just BREATHE. And be, just be. I hope you’ll join me for the ride.

Share:
  • ENOUGH IS ENOUGH is right my friend! I know what you are saying and I feel it…everybody’s breaking point is different, but when it’s reached, it’s DONE PEOPLE. My troubles probably don’t even compare to yours, or others! But they are mine. And yours are YOURS. We can get through this!

  • Just curious, have you read Eat, Pray, Love?

    • No I haven’t. Should I haha?

      • Of course! Why not? As long as you haven’t watched the movie and formed preconceived ideas about the book. It is pretty inspiring! If you don’t get anything else out of it, you would have, the very least, read about a nice little adventure…

  • It doesn’t matter to me how often you blog. I know that each time you post something it’s all genuine and brutally/hilariously honest. And I LOVE that about you and your blog. For that reason I don’t care if you only post now and then. You’re one of the few bloggers I still trust completely, so no matter how often you or don’t post I’ll always keep visiting. There is so much fakeness in the blogosphere these days. So many people are selling out. It’s probably what frutrates me most about the blogging scene: the lies and fakery people are willing to put out there just for the sake of getting freebies. Seriously, half the time I’m like ‘fuck, I hope people can see that I’m not like that…’. I seriously worry that people will eventually lose faith in bloggers because it’s all become so commercialized…

    Anyway, this isn’t about me and my feels here, this is about you. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and like it’s all becoming too much you should just hit the pause button. I don’t care how often or for how long. Just take a break whenever you feel like you need it. Breathe. Enjoy the little things. Like I said, I’ll always keep visiting, whether you post daily, every few days or weekly.

    X

    • THANK YOU XXXX
      No, I don’t see you like that at all…you still come across trustworthy in my eyes for sure. But yeah, I think people are starting to distrust bloggers too now. I can feel it in the air. I need to back off…rethink again….re-vamp…see if that makes it better for me. If it doesn’t, well maybe it’s time to say so long and thanks for all the fish!

    • THANK YOU XXXX
      No, I don’t see you like that at all…you still come across trustworthy in my eyes for sure. But yeah, I think people are starting to distrust bloggers too now. I can feel it in the air. I need to back off…rethink again….re-vamp…see if that makes it better for me. If it doesn’t, well maybe it’s time to say so long and thanks for all the fish!

  • I love love love this post and the fact like you tell it like it is. Do what you need to do that makes you happy. I love it when you post raw, honest content because I find myself screaming YES GIRL GO AND GET YOURS!!! Lol. I did the same thing in January. While I love beauty stuff it doesn’t represent all of me. I also don’t have a filter and have been told in many occasions that it might do me some good to get one. I say screw em. Maybe it’s age or maybe it’s just me. Whatever it is I’m with you all the way!

    • Hahaha thanks Trace! LOL you and me both then have no filters and they can all screw off haha. I need to think really hard about this again. I feel like every year something ticks me off…so is it worth keeping up? I’m not sure this time.

    • Hahaha thanks Trace! LOL you and me both then have no filters and they can all screw off haha. I need to think really hard about this again. I feel like every year something ticks me off…so is it worth keeping up? I’m not sure this time.

  • Toddle Yonder

    I love your writing. It already seemed like your posts about makeup were cathartic as a reader because really, deep down, there was always so much more going on in the words. As someone who enjoys your writing, I bet I would enjoy it on other topics too. I, for one, am enthusiastic to see what you come up with! Don’t get me wrong, on a totally selfish note I’d love for you to keep beauty blogging since I adore your reviews. But no matter what you do, I am betting it is going to be fantastic.

    • Awwww thanks so much! I really appreciate it! It always amazes me when someone tells me that they like my writing hahaha! I’m not very eloquent, and just write pretty much how I speak. I wish I was brave enough to do videos because that would be WAY easier HAHAHA. And thanks for your support! Means the world to me.

    • Awwww thanks so much! I really appreciate it! It always amazes me when someone tells me that they like my writing hahaha! I’m not very eloquent, and just write pretty much how I speak. I wish I was brave enough to do videos because that would be WAY easier HAHAHA. And thanks for your support! Means the world to me.

  • Haha, SLAY, TRACY, SLAY.

    Seriously, though, I think that you make a lot of good points. And your blog should be about you, at the root of it. I think people explore that in their own way, but some people want to be part of the commercial machine, and some people don’t. I definitely don’t, and I don’t have time to do that, anyway. Plus, it’s fun to share the aspects that make us individuals – or why else do we even bother putting ourselves out there on the internet? It’s not like we need dates, LOL. It’s about the sense of community and the delight in discovering and sharing things – at least, that’s what it is for me. And it definitely doesn’t have to be all about beauty! I will always have a love for pretty things and makeup, but of course, we all have other interests. I think we’d all love to see what else you have in store!

    • I’m so tired of the commercial machine…so TIRED. And I’m bored. One of the reasons why I don’t blog that often anymore is because it’s so repetitive of a genre. This lipstick is fantastic…moisturizing…fabulous….BLAH BLAH BLAH. If I am going to keep doing this, I gotta find another angle. Otherwise I’m kind of done I think.

    • I’m so tired of the commercial machine…so TIRED. And I’m bored. One of the reasons why I don’t blog that often anymore is because it’s so repetitive of a genre. This lipstick is fantastic…moisturizing…fabulous….BLAH BLAH BLAH. If I am going to keep doing this, I gotta find another angle. Otherwise I’m kind of done I think.

  • Love this! I’m totally up for more of a mix with posts. To tell you the truth, I miss that part of blogging…when it’s not so specific to genre. More about the everyday. Of course, I still wanna see some beauty stuff though…your reviews always make me think/laugh/want to try things. Good on you for doing what you want.

  • A lot of the essence of blogging being sharing has been lost over the years to commercialism. I’ve seen it, felt pissed and then resigned. I took my time away, I still do, in a way. It’s never easy going it your way, against the grain of the blogging world in general but it’s always so much more satisfying. The day I told myself to hell with it, let’s tell things the way it is, was the day I took my blog back for myself and I enjoy it a lot more. There’s a lot to share, and as we’ve discussed before, your blog name is wide enough so you don’t have to confine yourself to just makeup. Talk about it if if you like, but there’s a lot of beauty in life you can reflect on as well 😀 Looking forward to the revamp. I’ve stopped reading a lot of blogs but I’m still reading yours which must count for something! 😉

    • I think your post about Is Blogging Dead makes more sense to me now and I want to change my answer on there LOL. I’m thinking it is dying-the blogging that WE do at least is. Blogging is becoming nothing more than another commercial venue for PR to shove lies at consumers. And more and more people are just wanting to live off blogs, so you can’t really tell it like it is because lordy, you won’t get stuff to blog about.
      If I can figure out what I want to do…revamp…then I’ll be back. But if I can’t figure this out, I might just say so long thanks for all the fish! It might just be time to do that.

    • I think your post about Is Blogging Dead makes more sense to me now and I want to change my answer on there LOL. I’m thinking it is dying-the blogging that WE do at least is. Blogging is becoming nothing more than another commercial venue for PR to shove lies at consumers. And more and more people are just wanting to live off blogs, so you can’t really tell it like it is because lordy, you won’t get stuff to blog about.
      If I can figure out what I want to do…revamp…then I’ll be back. But if I can’t figure this out, I might just say so long thanks for all the fish! It might just be time to do that.

  • Lily

    Can always count on you to tell it like it is 🙂 And yes, always be you, and always do what you love. It’s your blog after all. I think we who never thought of making money from our blog understand you completely. Personally, I think I’m kind of sheltered because I never attend events or interact with other bloggers face to face. I screen my emails from PR, and if they’re persistent, I spam their email address. Hahaha! And I’ve been so busy, I’m barely around on social media anymore.
    The thing is, I’m the opposite of you because I really don’t give a shit what others do. Quite detached. So not many people get on my nerves unless I am directly involved. Furthermore, many people out there probably don’t deserve your care, Tracy. Let them be and you do you, my friend. Be happy. I can’t wait to see what new things you have for us 🙂

    • You spam them HAHAHAHA I love it. I don’t get to go to events either-there are none around here, and if there are I don’t get invited LOL. I don’t hustle for PR freebies like a lot of others do. I don’t care. I delete most emails these days. I guess I gotta become more like you and not give a shit. And if I can rethink this thing…revamp….then I’ll be back. But I don’t know, the more I think about it, the more I figure it might just be time to let go. FINALLY. I’ve been threatening that for a few years now LOL, and it just seems like I can’t let go. I get too irritated…too pissed off. Might be time to just say fuck it. MAYBE.

    • You spam them HAHAHAHA I love it. I don’t get to go to events either-there are none around here, and if there are I don’t get invited LOL. I don’t hustle for PR freebies like a lot of others do. I don’t care. I delete most emails these days. I guess I gotta become more like you and not give a shit. And if I can rethink this thing…revamp….then I’ll be back. But I don’t know, the more I think about it, the more I figure it might just be time to let go. FINALLY. I’ve been threatening that for a few years now LOL, and it just seems like I can’t let go. I get too irritated…too pissed off. Might be time to just say fuck it. MAYBE.

  • Eva

    I discovered your blog less than a year ago but I love love love that you tell it like it is. I check for the new posts every day cuz I love the way you write.

  • I love how you are honest in your reviews and that you hold no punches. If something sucks, you will tell it like it is, same if you love a product!

    I love your writing style and I feel like I am the room with you chatting about life and lipgloss 🙂 Keep writing, and I will keep reading

    • THANK YOU xx and hahaha that’s exactly how I write-I’m chatting with you! I love that. I’m gonna use that description from now on!

    • THANK YOU xx and hahaha that’s exactly how I write-I’m chatting with you! I love that. I’m gonna use that description from now on!

  • LOL I’m trying to picture a fashion-y pic of KFC AHAHAHAHAHA I’m kind of dying at the though right now!
    And that’s the thing about blogging now—everyone cares about the numbers and the stuff and money and everyone wants to be a full time blogger. I don’t. And that’s exactly it-the more you get paid, the more you can’t say what you really think.
    Thanks lady! I appreciate your support a lot! I just gotta figure out how to do some new things and it’ll all be a go!

  • LOL I’m trying to picture a fashion-y pic of KFC AHAHAHAHAHA I’m kind of dying at the though right now!
    And that’s the thing about blogging now—everyone cares about the numbers and the stuff and money and everyone wants to be a full time blogger. I don’t. And that’s exactly it-the more you get paid, the more you can’t say what you really think.
    Thanks lady! I appreciate your support a lot! I just gotta figure out how to do some new things and it’ll all be a go!

  • Tasha

    Tracy, how is it that we live in the same city and have never met? LOL! It’s insane how much I relate to these rants you post. If you’re up to it sometime we should go for coffee or lunch. 🙂

  • France Savard

    Dear Tracy, I agree with you on so many points and I’m on the PR side… It’s so important to remain true to yourself especially when you’re blogging. As the saying goes: Birds of a feather flock together, people who follow you are like you, share many things with you, don’t worry about the others who might have sold their soul, continue to do what feels right for you. Big hugs xo

  • Angela

    I’m with you no matter what. You do you. I come back to this blog because I love to hear what you have to say, whether it’s about makeup or the colour of the sky.

  • I’d read whatever you decide to write about Tracy! This post plus my last post, how I feel summed up perfectly.

  • I was away for a bit as well, and I think we have a lot in common with being introvert extraordinaire 🙂 I also like to have my alone time, reflection and all that. So I know what you mean. Come back soon and i will read whatever you write! =)

  • Daisy

    Hey, Sista…been away for awhile…needed to breathe too….I feel you, girl <3
    I know exactly what you mean….I feel your dissapointment, anger, sadness….alot of people really, really suck….and tbey suck all the fun out of everything 🙁 Makes me ARGH!!!! SO, stopped all social media for awhile…but, please Trace…don't let them take away the things you love AND need….you love blogging, chatting and sharing…if you possibly can, and God knows I find it INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT, IGNORE THE FUCKERS, and concentrate, enjoy your cyber-buddies….you have quite alot 🙂 Just do what YOU want, WHEN you want…you've earned your stripes, hun….your show, yes???? YOUR BLOG, YOUR CHOICE, PERIOD. No discussion….from nobody….and if they do say shit, IGNORE….THEY FRIGGING HATE THAT…and leave you be….no "fun" for them then…sickos….soooo many fucked up people about, unbelievable, truely. No, girl, you do your thing, never let anybody tear you down….ever. You are sooooo much bigger and better than them!!!! ROCK-ON SISTA!!! At your OWN LEISURE, BABE 😉 Your true followers will always be here….the garbage will bugger-off, haha!!!
    Love ya!!!! <3

  • Whatever capacity you choose to blog in/whenever you choose, I am here and will be here reading! I am not posting as much anymore because of life/also being disillusioned. Blogging is my hobby and I make $0 and I know people have fomo about getting free products and that just seems to be the main thing going on in the community right now. I feel ya. I still spend an insane amount of money on makeup and skincare on my own, things I have even declined from PR people because I am like hey…I got it myself but thanks…I’ll spend my money and write my own thing. You keep doing you Tracy! I agree with ya on everything!

  • I also think that blogging has lost so much credibility lately. Not on my blog though, everything is real there and I make nothing from it apart from being able to consult my own recipes online, lol. Anyway, for my work I have to deal with bloggers and the more famous they are, the more I flip 🙁
    Don’t care what others think and do what you want. I’d love it if you talk about LIFE and other stuff!! 🙂

  • Just yesterday I was thinking that a couple of blogs/vlogs are straight up commercial. Sponsored too much. I like some sponsoring but my blog is mine! You do you girl and fuck the dumb shit for reals. I got your back you blush fiend ♡

  • Jennifer Ryder

    Anything you want to write about is what I want to read, okay??? Or if you need to take a break that’s fine, too. XOXOXO