The Happiest Day Of Your Life

Today is the greatest
Day I’ve ever known
Can’t wait for tomorrow,
I might not have that long
I’ll tear my heart out
Before I get out

~Wilamette Stone version of the Smashing Pumpkins song, Today

I’ve been sick the last few days, and therefore not doing much. And I’m by myself too. So, that means I can watch whatever movie comes on with no whining from Terry HAHA! Seriously, he’d watch the movie I, Robot every day if it were on 😛 I love my hubby, and I love Will Smith, but that movie is not one of my faves by the guy. Gimme I Am Legend any day, or Pursuit of Happyness-those are Will Smith GOLD movies.
Anyways, yesterday I happened to catch the movie If I Stay, based off of a YA novel that I guess is much loved. If you’ve never read the book or seen the (kinda’sappy) movie, I’ll fill you in. It’s about Mia, who happens to be a talented young cellist, that feels out of place in her rock n’ roll family. She meets the love of her life, Adam who is also hugely talented and in an up and coming rock band. Mia decides to apply to Juilliard, but that puts a real damper on her relationship with Adam. One snowy day, her and her family get in a car wreck, and Mia ends up in a coma, and of course, has an out of body experience(otherwise that’d be the end of the book/movie lol). She loses everyone in her immediate family while in the coma(mom, dad, and little brother) and has to decide whether she wants to live and fight on, or…well,  join her family and die.

Yeah. I know. Sappy. Predictable stuff to be honest. It wasn’t great, and it wasn’t bad. Just something to keep me from falling asleep with this cold I’ve been battling.

And then, this scene happened:

AND I WAS IN TEARS YOU GUYS.

As she narrates the scene, Mia describes what she finally realizes was the Happiest Day Of Her Life. And that got me thinking about what was mine?! I started thinking, and sure…the old cliché ones came up….getting married, the birth of Marky….

But to be honest? I can’t really say those days were the happiest ever…I mean to me, the happiest day ever would mean a day of pure and utter smiles, bliss… and both of those days, weren’t all smiles and giggles, lets get real. Can a wedding day really be without any worry? ‘Cause mine wasn’t. My mother had really bad arthritis, so the morning of my wedding I had to drive her to the ER so she could get a cortisone shot in her knee so that she could walk relatively pain-free the rest of the day. SIGH. And that’s just ONE example of wedding day troubles for me…I could go on, but eh…you get it I think.

And I don’t know, giving birth for me was a two-day, REALLY painful affair-when I say I was happy, it was because she finally was OUT of my body and it was all over 😛

Nope. Those memories weren’t it. Which made me start thinking again…I know…I shouldn’t think so much. It really is a curse.

Can you REALLY label a day…ONE DAY…to be the Happiest Day Of Your Life? Can you?

I can think of moments where I was REALLY HAPPY. Like the moment Marky said her first word…MOON…as she pointed to a picture in a book I was reading to her…The New Year’s Eve where Terry and I stayed up all night talking about LIFE…our plans….When my worried mama grabbed me a couple of hours before my brother’s wedding to ask me to put some makeup on her, because she was feeling less than glamorous next to the in-laws(who were WAY over the top for a wedding my god-never seen so many sequins on old ladies in my life)….My dad telling little Marky he LOVED her…which changed him… and from then on he never had any problem telling me, or any of us kids that he loved us too…Marky finding out she got into CalARTS wow, I still remember sitting on my bed, eyes closed HOPING YES while she checked on the computer…the first time I was able to run a mile without stopping…How every wedding and dance in my youth I attended and the first polka I danced was with my brother Mark…as soon as the song would start, he’d be there in front of me-it was our tradition, and we’d smile the WHOLE dance…it was so much fun whirling around with my brother…we were REALLY good dancers you guys…bonfires at the beach and singing with my friends all the old, traditional Ukrainian folk songs…

Moments of pure happy. I have loads of them! But to say that a day, ONE day, is the happiest day of my life? Not sure I can think of one, whole, day.

Is that weird? Is it? Am I some kind of freak here? Am I over thinking this? Please. Tell me if I am. I need to know!

SO. What this happy day wondering has done, is make me realize that I haven’t been all that happy lately. Like Mia says in that clip-her parents had a scene, her boyfriend Adam had a scene, and she was alone with her cello, and until that moment…she finally felt part of something, and that made her happy. Weirdly enough, I feel just like that. BAZINGA, right on the mark exactly how I feel lately. Marky is gone at college, Terry still gets to leave and go to work…and then there’s me. Left here. By myself. No scene of my own to feel a part of. And sure, there’s blogging. That’s a scene I guess. But, even in that I feel not so much a part of lately. I’m not one of the bloggers that gets most of the new releases sent to me. And honestly, I don’t care about that…most of the makeup these days is SHITE to be honest. Pffft…most of my happy moments do NOT deal with makeup and stuff, so that wouldn’t make me happy anyways. I have some up and coming things that are kind of exciting though, and I’m really proud to be a part of. That makes me kind of happy I guess?! Yeah. Maybe the problem is that I’ve lost touch with NOTICING those moments…seeing the little things that can make me feel happy.

So….I’ve decided that every day from now on, I’m going to find the happy in every day. Find something, DO something that makes me HAPPY. Even if it’s just looking at the sunset! I love looking at the sky lately for some reason, maybe it’s an aging thing, I don’t know.

IMG_1220

But there’s a certain point in the evening when the light is just…PERFECTION, and you can see everything so clearly. And you have no doubts about what you’re looking at. Is that HAPPY?! Maybe. One thing I’m gonna do that’s gonna bring back the happy for me, is finally get myself a piano again. I really miss music in my life! I miss it a lot. This movie also really made me realize that as well, damn YA novel, teen-pull-at-your-heart-strings-movie…lol. Music was a big part of my life growing up, and I need it back now. I’m sure of that.

I urge you to find the HAPPY in every day as well…to not dwell on the things that bother you. I’m so guilty of doing this, focusing on the one thing in my day that annoyed the F$$K outta’ me. I want to stop it.  In the end, as this movie/book finally says…it really doesn’t matter? Does it?

It’s the HAPPY that does. So, let’s TRY to be HAPPY. Every. Day.

HUGZ,

 Tell me the things that make you happy!

 

  • Lily

    This is such a beautiful post, Tracy! I believe that we make ourselves happy. No one else can do it for us. But of course, when you share happiness with others, the moments are just so much more special. I try to find joy in little things, and these little things do add up. I don’t think there’s only ONE day when I’m happiest though – I think that would be sad. I’d like to think that with every ups and downs we experience, our lives are just that much richer.
    So you’re definitely NOT weird!! You wrote down so many happy moments, and I think that’s GOLD.
    *hugs*

    • Awww, thanks! And thanks for telling me I’m not weird LOL!!! I’m starting to realize that most of you are like me…it’s more about the moments. And that’s what adds up!

  • I’ve had a lot of happy days. And I believe that happiness is often something that you create or can at least choose. But my happiest day so far was DEFINITELY my wedding day. That day I really felt the truest, most genuine and overwhelming happiness I’ve ever felt.

  • Dear Tracy,
    This morning I am having a good “me time” reading this post with some simple bread and coffee brewed perfectly to my likings. Happy, I tell you! ;D (Yesterday, I didn’t have much time to read this through but didn’t want to leave a half-assed comment, either. I’m glad I got to revisit this post when I can thoroughly enjoy it.)
    Love the part you described your happy moments, especially about your dad and Marky, and also about your brother and all that dancing!
    Maybe we’re not meant to have a whole perfectly happy day as cruel as it may sound. I believe this world is all about the glimpse of heaven anyway. Maybe finding happy moments here and there matters the most. And thanks for allowing us to think about that.

    Hope you feel better soon. <3 <3 <3

    P.S. "I, Robot" is Terry's favorite Will Smith movie? Good Lord ;o

    • YUMMMM!!! Thank you!
      That’s so well put: GLIMPSES OF HEAVEN….I love that.
      I’m starting to feel so much better, especially today…with this cold I think came a lot of things weighing my spirit down. Being sick and alone is a dangerous combination I think haha!

      HAHAHA, no I don’t think that’s his fave Will Smith Movie…it’s his fave Isaac Asimov book though. I think his fave Will Smith movie is probably I am Legend too. 😀

  • Angela

    I’d highly recommend “Begin Again” with Keira Knightley and Mark Ruffalo. It was charming and there was good music throughout 😉 It’s so easy to get bogged down with the ups and downs of life. I agree that recognizing those good things that make you smile can make a big difference with the perspective you view life from. When I was pregnant with my #3, we got some very scary test results that indicated she might be not 100% healthy when she was born. I was devastated and shaken to the core. I have never in my life been so upset – for that i am grateful, of course. (to skip to the end of this book, we put our faith in whatever God had planned for us and she is absolutely fine). I found such joy during that painful time – quite honestly just yesterday something reminded me of it and I was in tears sitting in my office, so you can imagine how sappy I am, LOL – obviously not because we were faced with the situation but because of the overflowing amount of support and messages of love we got from everyone we didn’t even realize knew. Yep, tearing up again. I can’t tell you how that turned things around for me – to know that there is this intangible cloud of love even in your darkest times. So I try now to see the ‘good’ in all situations, and I hope I can keep that up. AND if you’re in need of a good piano playing (mine’s not tuned though) you are always welcome to play your heart out at my house. It is amazing what it does for your soul just to hammer on those keys!!!

    • I will look for that movie for sure! Oh, man, you are one strong lady Angela! I can’t imagine all the fear you experienced during that time…I’m tearing up thinking about it right now. I’m so glad she’s healthy though! It’s amazing what the power of prayer and love can do!
      I’m trying to see the happy in every day now! It’s hard, especially when I’m alone a lot. I love just noticing the small things lately…looking at things from a different angle, ya know? I really want to get a better camera now, and start taking pics of the things I notice.
      And it’s a piano hammering date! Nothing better than that!

  • i need to book some time alone so i can watch this movie and sob in private. jesus that clip made me choke up.

    • RIGHT? frickin’YA bull….hahahaha I’m already looking for the next time it’s on and reminding it HAHAHAHA

  • This was a wonderful post Tracy, and it made me cry 🙂 but mostly good tears. I think you are right…I think a truly happiest day of my life doesn’t exist. As humans I don’t think its possible to go through an entire day without an ache or a moment of doubt or a worry. This post really got me thinking. I’ve been struggling with a lot lately. I’ve felt pretty alone and kind of lost in my place in the world and it is easy to dwell on the negative. So I am going to try and find small positive moments every day because that is such a good idea! Right now the happy times I have are when my dad and I had amazing hand dipped ice cream bars at the fair a week ago and just stood there in the darkness laughing and getting ice cream drippings on our chins. And when my momma and I have quiet breakfasts with just the two of us. Thanks for giving us all an opportunity to reflect on those times 🙂

    • Awww, Happy tears at least! xx I think you are right, it’s hard to have an entirely happy day as humans.
      And I feel you love…I’ve been alone and doing the same thing. Especially being sick and not able to do much, so my brain starts hopping on these trains and I can’t stop it. I’m glad I could help you see those happy moments and I hope you find beauty in every day. And remember-I’m here! If you need to talk, I’m always available.

  • I have lots of happy moments throughout the day but the one that’s most memorable to me are the ones I spend with people I love and laughing and connecting. I also can’t think of a “day” that was my happiest, because I find that planned moments are stressful! LOL

    Your memory made me smile. Moon is a sweet first word, i think!!! 😉

    • Exactly! Planned ones are very stressful I agree! It’s the unplanned days that bring the most happy!

      Awww, isn’t it? It was such a cute moment that I’ll never forget-ever!

  • I got emotional reading this, too, Tracy, and it mirrors many of my own feelings. As an example, you know how a lot of people say that your birthday should be the happiest day of the year or something, but to be honest, this year, while I was incredibly grateful to be able to celebrate it with my immediate family (which hasn’t happened since we moved to the US more than five years ago), I was also very sad, and stressed out, and on top of it all, had to look for a birthday gift for some on my husband’s side of the family, while he forgot to get me anything for my bday, lol.

    So yeah, that wasn’t not one of my happier days. If I had to pinpoint one day it would probably be a very ordinary one, when I was feeling especially upbeat and blessed, and maybe felt the love from people around me, just in a simple gesture or a couple words. Really, it’s those very simple and precious moments that make me the happiest. Thanks for such an honest and thought-provoking post!

    • Awww, thanks Monika! Maybe those days, for some of us, there’s just too much expectation for them to be happy and the best day ever. I know I do that, expect a certain day to be a certain way, and then…it’s just not. Like in the movie, and just like you say…the best days are unexpected ones that catch us by surprise! And they’re filled with love. And that’s the key.

  • Awww I love reading your words Tracy! Yeah maybe the getting married and having children is chliché, as I have not gotten married nor do I have children (I hope not YET) but if I never do these things, does that mean I’ll never have the happiest days of my life?.. Meanwhile my recent happiest days where when my brother who lives in Australia was over visiting me and I took a few days off to hang out with him. Right now I’m just finishing some homemade jam made by one of my cousins and it’s fantastic. Another tiny happiness in life. You’re right, we have to find the happy in every day. Have a great weekend! xx

    • Thank you love! xx RIGHT? you said it! I think those DAYS that everyone says are their happiest, are just because you feel you HAVE to say that…because not all of us get to experience those specific days…and that doesn’t mean anything in the end.
      MOMENTS…. And now I want some of that jam! hahaha! I think a lot of my moments are about food now that I think about it LOL!! xx

  • AGREED! I am sorry that you haven’t been feeling 100%, but that’s a great way to watch ALL the movies you want! I’d me LOTR marahoning the entire time. Like you, I can’t really think of ONE day as the happiest day of my life. I have a shit memory, so I guess that works against me, but that doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful or can’t recognize happiness. I have lots of happy moments, and I’m totally all about celebrating the little happies everyday!!! Hugs!

    • Yeah colds SUCK hard! I should have watched LOTR, then I wouldn’t be thinking so much LOL!!! HUGS! Moments seems to be the consensus, so I think we are totally normal! Geeky, yes…but SO COOL.

  • Lovely, Tracy! And I don’t think it’s easy to find THE ONE THING that makes you happy – I don’t think life works like that, and really, that would be kind of sad, right? If that ONE HAPPY MOMENT came so easily. I think it’s much better that you have so many happy, wonderful memories! You’re such a wonderful person, you deserve it all! I’ve been thinking a lot about these sorts of things lately, too, since S and I are living apart for the moment. It really makes you think about what is important and what you would compromise on, and it makes us appreciate each other a whole lot more, I think, which is always wonderful. <3

    • It’s so weird because you guys are experiencing what we experienced early in our relationship…we started long distance. And now you guys are doing that. And you are right, it does make you appreciate each other all the more!

  • Jane

    Great post, Tracy! I find the Western world a bit obsessed about happiness, that you have to be happy, that if you don’t feel happy all the time, then something is very wrong with your life. Everyone is trying to feel happier, find something that make them happier, avoid by all means moments of possible unhappiness, sometimes drug themselves into “happinnes”. Crazy effort. Suffering, failing, losing dear people, getting sick or just feeling sad about life is seen as normal by Buddhism. Trying to minimize all negative feelings leads to running away from life and ourselves, becoming “deaf” to our own emotions, including emotions of being happy. So here I agree with you that people often fail to appreciate how much they have. I personally feel happy when I slept 8 hours and the day is sunny, my environment is not too noisy, there is no rush and I have some time for myself. Very primitive 🙂 It doesn’t happen every day, but when it does, I feel 100% happy. The happiest day of my life is perhaps the day when my fiance first told me that he loves me. Most happy moments are also related to my family and people I love(d), but also to the beautiful outdoor places I visited. For me being in a beautiful place far from industrial world is a real joy. Knowing that one day I will go to some new beautiful places can make my worst day better. I like outdoor photography too. I grew up in a place far away from city and close to nature and animals. I was either walking, biking, swimming or reading lots of books. Also watching the sunset outside. Basically nothing has changed over the last 20 years, these are still my favorite activities 🙂

    • I agree! I think it maybe youth, that think there’s a DAY that’s just it…as we age I think we realize that’s just not so anymore. It’s the moments! With the people we love the most that matter.
      I’m like you! I love being outdoors and am happiest there. If I could sit outside, walk outside, and explore-I’d be the happiest person on earth I swear. I love being outside. Which is the exact opposite of what I’ve been doing lately, especially being sick! So THANK YOU. You’ve reminded me that I need to be OUT THERE. When I stop coughing up a lung of course HAHA!

  • HUGS LADY!! AHAHAHA, you are so full of wisdom I love it…I guess that’s so true…feet firmly planted..maybe it’s a YOUTH thing to think that ONE DAY can be the happiest of your life? I think as we get older we realize that’s just not so. And that’s OK! The moments are what matter! And the love. Love ya sista’! I hope you are feeling better!

    • Daisy

      Right back atcha, sweetie!!! xxx

  • Toya

    Beauty of a post, Tracy, I love these introspective reads you’re coming out with more! I love beauty as much as ever but I’m kind of tired of reading about it lately, and also reading about it makes me want to buy it which defeats the goal of paring down…so yea. These posts are my JAM, and you really bring it – you’ve made such a good point about noticing what makes us happy and appreciating it. I try to do that so much now with Elena since I know she’s going to grow way too fast. Easy to forget to be grateful on the regular but its definitely the way to happiness! I hope you get back to that place, Tracy 🙂 xo

    • THANK YOU XOXO It makes me so happy that everyone is enjoying my silly thoughts about stuff other than makeup! SO happy, because like you…I just don’t feel like writing only about beauty these days. A lot is just the same BS, and there’s so many other blogs out there that do it better than I do! I want to write about ALL the beauty…and that includes life stuff. So more coming up for sure!
      Elena and your time with her is SO so so precious. I’m so happy you realize it now! I wish I did a lot sooner with Marky.
      I am on the way thanks! I’m getting a piano soon! And maybe join a choir again!! HAPPY TRACY.

  • Your post made me smile because a) I loved the moments you described b) finding the daily happy is important. I went through very unhappy times over the last two years and finding a little bit of happy every day was the key for me. I love those posts from you

    • Thanks Gaelle, I’m so glad I made you smile!
      I know you had a hard time the last couple of years. Staying positive and finding the happy really makes a difference in how we see our lives.

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